Maybe a more apt title would be AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Every birth story is unique, but I think for new parents the nervous, anxious, exciting feelings and straight out fear are common. I was certainly a ball of all of these things.
Clara was due November 7, a day that came and passed with no sign that she was coming. Same with the day after and the day after.
And the day after.
Finally on the morning of November 11 Jane’s water broke. I had very mixed feelings about having a baby born on Remembrance Day. On the one hand it’s always a holiday so having a party, even if it’s the middle of the week, is completely doable. On the other hand, partying on Remembrance Day feels weird.
We had a midwife for our entire pregnancy – something I’ll talk about in a future post – so we promptly headed to their office. Once there it was quickly confirmed that Janes water had indeed broke and we made the decision to see if labour would start on its own within the next 24 hours. Night came and before we knew it, it was the next morning. Labour had not started on its own so we called the midwives who told us to head to the hospital.
The Waiting Game
We met at Rockyview Hospital at 9am on Nov 12. I had long since forgotten about my Remembrance Day worries and now it was a moot point anyway.
We were situated in a nice large, private room and Jane was hooked up to various machines to monitor her and Clara.
Then we waited.
Somewhere along the way I took a nap. We had been told by so many people to take advantage of the opportunities to sleep when they come because there was no sense in both parents being exhausted.
As contractions started I found this is a tough part for a husband. I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s WAY harder for the wife, but as a husband you want to help, you want to be doing something and you don’t like seeing your partner in pain, but there’s really little you can do other than be supportive.
Before I knew it I was dressed in scrubs and we were in the operating room.
A Note About Birth Plans
Birth plans are a great idea. I definitely think they are something that partners should discuss together. Jane and I, however, did not really have one. Most important for us was that we have a happy, healthy baby. We also did not want to have a happy, healthy baby and somehow be upset with the way that our baby came into the world. We wanted to give birth naturally, but as it turned out, the umbilical cord was wrapped around Clara’s body and neck. This made a natural birth impossible and in the end, how we got Clara is just not that important as long as she and Jane are safe.
Delivery
I sat in the operating room and as Clara was about to be pulled out the Anesthesioligist insisted I needed to see it. I was very unsure that was something I wanted to see, but I’m very glad that I did. I looked over the blanket just in time to see Clara come out and immediately do a starfish while sticking her tongue out.
I remember her tongue seeming so long for a baby. One of the nurses even commented on it.
Clara was quickly turned over to the care of Tiffany and was taken to be cleaned up and weighed. Seconds later I was holding my daughter.
As I stared into her eyes I remember thinking how surreal it felt. I’ll admit I didn’t immediately fall in love with her, I didn’t cry, I just sort of stared at her stunned. Stunned that in the span of 30 minutes we had come so far and now I was holding my daughter. The Anesthesiaologist must have noticed the stunned look on my face as he directed me to let Jane meet her daughter. Feeling stupid for not having thought of that myself I quickly passed her over. Unbeknowst to me, Tiffany was taking pictures and captured one of the best pictures of our life – me setting Clara next to Jane’s head, Jane kissing Clara and Clara smiling for the first time.
Excuse me there’s something in my eye.
We left the operating room and all met back up in recovery. Jane was still cold and shivering uncontrollably. This is where they gave her the greatest invention I’ve ever seen. It’s a blanket that has large, bubble wrap type holes in it and with the help of a machine blows hot air throughout the blanket. This along with some warmed blankets encompassed her where Tiffany handed Clara to us and we got some alone time as a small family.
I can’t remember how long we were there for, but eventually we were moved to a shared hospital room. I stayed for hours, but eventually had to go home.
Rockyview Hospital
This is where I would like to take an opportunity to talk about Rockyview Hospital.
If you are expecting a child, depending on where you live in the city there will be one hospital closer than another. For us Rockyview and the South Calgary Health Campus were about equal distances apart. We had heard horror stories about the rooms at Rockyview and tales of overcrowding, so we were a bit apprehensive about going there. Everyone’s experience is their own, so I can only speak for us, but our experience was great.
It’s true you have to share a room and it’s true that there is nowhere for the Dad to sleep, save a chair by the window or your car. But that’s ok. It was hard to go home and leave my new little family, but getting a full nights sleep allowed me to be a better husband and new father. It allowed me help Jane as much as I was fully capable of and made sure that we both weren’t exhausted new parents walking bewildered into the world.
We still walked bewildered into this new world of being parents but at least one of us wasn’t completely drained.
Staff at the hospital were great and looking back I would do everything the same way as we did.
A New Life
That first time walking out of the hospital carrying your baby in your new carseat is strange. You truly can’t believe that they’re just letting you walkout of the hospital with a baby. Doesn’t anyone realize we have no idea what we’re doing??
The fact is, they probably do. But that’s ok, no one knows what they’re doing as a new parent. You just figure it out.
Having a midwife team meant we got home visits from them a couple times in the first few days/week and that certainly helped with our confidence levels as new parents.
Time quickly becomes a blur after that and before you know it you’ve been a parent for a month and you truly can’t believe it. You can’t believe how quick it’s gone, how tired you are and how you’ve got through it. But you also can’t believe how lucky you are.
Calgary Parents, do you have any good/bad stories about the hospital your child was born at? Let us know in the comments!
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