Men’s Mental Health

Jan 28, 2019

5 min read

Welcome to part two in my three part series on mental health as we lead up to Bell Let’s Talk Day. To read part one click here.

I recently had the chance to interview Matt Boudreau about Man Enough YYC and the changing conversation surrounding men’s mental health. Matt is a Calgary Dad who is constantly working on self improvement. This goal has lead him to some exciting challenges like taking part in the Ice Breaker Challenge as well as running the Calgary Marathon.

What is Man Enough YYC? It is a community group for men in Calgary to step outside their comfort zones and stretch their mindsets by living outside the ‘man box’ we’ve all been told we have to live. Participating in challenges in Calgary to experience local businesses and be run through these challenges by strong female entrepreneurs. Experience, Explore, Challenge, Change – the basis Man Enough YYC. We Experience activities that are stereotypically regarded as ‘female’ or ‘not manly’ in order to have an opinion on the activity aside from our inexperienced opinions. Being deliberate in how we are approaching our vulnerabilities within a closed, safe space while sharing a few laughs over our struggles with it. We Explore local small businesses that are run by strong, female entrepreneurs doing some amazing things in our city, often their influence stretches beyond our city. After we’ve completed the challenge, generally we head to a local brewery close by to Explore some of our cities amazing craft beer and open up our thoughts on how the challenge felt, and what are our thoughts are now. We Challenge ourselves to step out of our comfort zones and be more deliberate in how we generate our opinions on various activities. Some examples we’ve challenged ourselves to; Barre fitness classes, Yoga classes, International Women’s Day Events. The activities we challenge are generally known for being overwhelmingly female activities, all being centered around fitness to date. We Change our mindsets on how we view these activities. Often we come in with a thought of “how hard can this be” while walking out with a newfound respect for how difficult it all actually is. This change is to have us look differently at how we perceive things around us and open our minds to other points of view and perspectives. What are the goals of Man Enough YYC? Our goals are simple, changing mindsets in ourselves to look differently at the world and how we’ve always been told to live as men. How did you get involved with the program? In November 2017, I was looking to create something that would hit on that goal above through activity-based progress while also being able to expose some great local business, both fitness and craft beer. It was to lean on the professional networks I was making to bring Challenges to that group while exposing the great female entrepreneurs that exist. Doing our part as men, being better and part of the solution. I started the group in 2018.

As we head into Bell Let’s Talk Day can you tell me a little bit about what your own journey with mental health has looked like? I do believe everyone, at one point or another in life, experiences some sort of mental health issues often, multiple bouts of it. Some are more drastic than others, some shielded much deeper than others, some right out in the open and entirely evident. None of these are any less important than the other, mental health is a very serious issue that can escalate if not looked after. With the highs and lows, as well as the struggles of the world around, it is inevitable as a human being to experience both extremes. Personally, I have had my own set of struggles over the years and luckily was able to combat and work with my own issues through my own coping mechanisms as well as leaning on loved ones and community groups. Life comes with highs and lows, much of my mental journey entails keeping myself from the fluctuations one way or another. Keeping a stoic mindset in the face of the world, knowing what I have control over and don’t have control over has helped over recent years to really face the world in harmony with what happens around me. I still struggle even through this but I’ve managed to minimize my negative self-talk and be in constant connection with my perceptions in life. When my daughter was born and for the first few years, dealing with the change in lifestyle of being a parent was a tough transition and something you cannot prepare yourself for. I struggled with my own ability to cope with the changes, having no local family support, and being as best a parent and husband as I could. It took some time to battle through the isolation and I didn’t initially deal with my own situation fully, while pushing it down and telling myself to “suck it up”, ‘ deal with it’, or ‘man up’. I began to notice I was pushing that mandate on my daughter and wife while not truly listening to any of their needs. I still struggle with this but have gotten better through managing my own internal issues first. Constant reminders to keep my own mental health and fessing-up to my issues first, allowed me to truly be supportive for them. In addition to Man Enough YYC, you also write a blog called DadBud. Tell me about what drives you to write on the blog? The DadBud Weekly Blog was created, outside the name, not only for Dad’s but for anyone managing harmony (or balance) within family, career, health, fitness, and everything else the world throws at us. As a Dad I’ve been challenged with balancing all the priorities in life that have come with adulthood, careers, and now as a parent. The many responsibilities in life that drive us to slow down and in some cases stop living life to its fullest. Getting buried in the daily routines and responsibilities as parents, spouses, entrepreneurs, and career-oriented individuals leaves little time to spend on our own health and fitness. My goal is to prioritize fitness for the sake of being fully there for the other aspects. I focus a lot of attention and energy on being sure I keep myself fit, not only for myself but for my family, so I can have the energy and engagement to bring my whole self to our family life and in my career. Finding time within the day to do this is often difficult and requires a strong mental mindset to getting ourselves off the couch or up in the morning to keep fit. DadBud Blog was created in June of 2018, out of some conversation I had with other career-oriented professionals, both with children and without. I had completed the Calgary Marathon (42.2kms) and was asked by many how I managed to find the time, mental capacity, and physical ability to complete the marathon while never having run a race before. It did not require me to shut down my career, family life, or any other side project I was involved with, but I was able to incorporate training into my regular days and make it a consistent habit. I was asked to tell my story and thus began DadBud. It keeps me accountable to fitness as a priority as I am also writing to others who are looking for that motivational talk from a real, vulnerable, ‘we all have challenges’ perspective. I’m also motivated to write it weekly as it helps for me to self-reflect on my own life and keeps me in a growth mindset by pushing those vulnerable boundaries.